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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28755849">we prayed it'd never be fixed or be found</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosewitchx/pseuds/rosewitchx'>rosewitchx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Arson, Betrayal, Canon Compliant, Child Soldiers, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hearing Voices, I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO TAG THIS, Lowercase, Raccoon TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Short One Shot, Survivor Guilt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:21:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>891</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28755849</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosewitchx/pseuds/rosewitchx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>the foundational myth of l'manburg, told through bar jokes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexis | Quackity &amp; Jschlatt, Jschlatt &amp; Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>127</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>we prayed it'd never be fixed or be found</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>title: romulus - sufjan stevens<br/>"There are several versions as to how Remus was killed on the day Rome was founded. In Livy's version, Remus simply died after jumping over Romulus' wall, which is thought to be a sign from the gods of Rome's power and fate. According to St. Jerome, Remus was killed for his mockery by one of Romulus' supporters, either Fabius or Celer, who killed Remus by throwing a spade at his head. Afterwards, Romulus mournfully buries his brother, bestowing upon him full funeral honours. However, most sources would convey that Romulus killed Remus."<br/>- <a href="https://www.ancient.eu/Romulus_and_Remus/">Romulus and Remus</a>, by Brittany Garcia.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>a man and his little brother walk into a bar. the bottles underneath their coats, filled with drugs, clink when they move. <br/>without war there is no peace, the man says. <br/>without blood there is no change, his brother replies.</p>

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            <p>a traitor walks into a bar. he is alone. the crown on his head is far too heavy. he sits on his chair and reaches for a bottle, but it turns into gold when he touches it.<br/>this is what you wanted, the traitor’s god says, is it not?<br/>no, the traitor-turned-king replies, even as the people kneel before him. this is not the happiness i wanted.</p>
            <p>a soldier and a god walk into a bar.<br/>if i give you this, the soldier says, will you let us be free?<br/>oh, tommy, the god says, you’ll never truly be free from me.</p>
            <p>a businessman walks into a bar. in his pockets he carries cubic zirconia and pyrite coins.<br/>democracy, he claims, is overrated. he’s been mayor before. he knows what he’s talking about. i’ll be my own president, he says, and no one notices it as freedom dies.</p>
            <p>a woman and her enemy walk into a bar.<br/>she is righteous fury, she is fire and martyrdom. she has no sword, yet she stands tall. she has no shield, yet she takes the hits meant for others.<br/>one day, her enemy tells her, arrogant. one day you’ll learn your place.<br/>she throws a bottle at his head.</p>
            <p>two princes walk into a bar. they’re twin images of each other. one is a leader; the other is a fighter. the fighter has just arrived. the leader has been here far too long.<br/>the fighter says, you’d never betray me, right?<br/>the leader says, i’m losing myself already.</p>
            <p>a vice-president walks into a bar. he’s looking for someone, his fiancé, and he finds him crumpled up on a stool, a myriad of bottles around him.<br/>you’re embarrassing me, he tells his fiancé. you’re killing yourself like this.<br/>the fiancé looks at the vice-president pointedly and downs another shot.</p>
            <p>a spy and a traitor walk into a bar.<br/>the spy carries with himself a journal. the traitor is currently forging a prescription note.<br/>i’m pregnant, the traitor says.<br/>the spy knows for a fact that no one is fooled by his act.<br/>i’m so happy for you, the spy tells him instead of warning him. watch out for the fireworks.</p>
            <p>two old friends turned enemies walk into a bar. the madman has one hand on the button. the tyrant stumbles where he steps.<br/>what a pair, huh, the madman says. blood seeps from his chest.<br/>the tyrant moves to reply, but all that comes out is a garbled cry. it smells vaguely of toast.</p>
            <p>a boy and his father walk into a bar. the man’s hands are drowning in red. his son smells like ashes and wars.<br/>why did you do it? the boy asks, feeling incredibly small.<br/>why did i do it? the man asks himself.</p>
            <p>a god walks into a bar. he uses the soldier as a foot recliner.<br/>i’m your friend, he tells the foot recliner. i’m your only friend. they all have abandoned you to your death.<br/>i love you, the foot recliner says, and the god knows he means it.</p>
            <p>an anarchist in exile walks into a bar. he sits on the stool and orders a drink. no one in the bar pays him any mind, despite the fact that he is a wanted criminal.<br/>your father is in peril, a voice tells him.<br/>they’re coming for you, it tells him.<br/>this way, it tells him.<br/>an anarchist in exile leaves through the backdoor. three butchers walk into a bar.</p>
            <p>a runaway walks into a bar. he’s skinny, cold beyond belief, and his clothes are worn and stiff. he carves a hole in the earth, digging underneath the bar. out there, within the blizzard, the hunter catches his trail.</p>
            <p>a fugitive walks into a bar. he helps his father sit on the bench. the raccoon underneath his floorboards peeks out.<br/>dad? it says.<br/>the man manages a fragile smile. the fugitive too, once the child is leaping towards them, though he manages to conceal it.</p>
            <p>two traumatized brothers walk into a bar. the youngest says, hey, what do you call this? and the eldest says, what do you call what? and then the younger one stabs the eldest in the back, and says, you would’ve done the same. the youngest leaves the eldest behind to die.</p>
            <p>a man walks into a bar.<br/>always choosing sides, he says. always making the same mistake. <br/>they don’t know any better, he replies. <br/>they should, a third voice chimes in. he recognizes it. <br/>the man doesn’t blink when the world around him collapses.</p>
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            <p>a woman stands in the middle of a crater, saluting at the flames.<br/>it was never meant to be, she proclaims, proud of herself, as the bar burns to a crisp. behind her, the terrorists rejoice.</p>
            <p>a boy soldier and his general best friend walk into the ruins of a bar. they’re far too young to drink anything, but the general, scarred and tired, serves himself a shot anyway.<br/>why did they do it? he asks the boy soldier. why would they do it?<br/>the boy soldier can no longer scream.</p>
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